damnitlexx

Start talking to Theodore and Egg tonight. Theodore = boy who took my virginity. Egg = the girl who i fucking regret everyday letting go. she's engaged now. how I'd kill for her to have her say she loves me. but I'll never hear that. ever. Regret, something I wished I live my life without. Fuck. I see that tree with me and egg's initials in it every time I'm down at the pond and i get teary-eyed about it. She was so unbelievably good to me. I fucking shoved her aside because of Wes, stupid stupid immature can't make up his mind - Wes.

I've been sick, I think it's from the stress to be honest. So I've been sleeping more often, and trying to relax. I haven't been feeling well for awhile. But I have been letting photography free me. I've been getting pictures done. I think Hatter has 11 photos. Corey's in line to get his done. I'm going to try to do ten for him tonight. Photo shoot with Ms. Rodino on Saturday? My sister's poison ivy is gone, which is awesome. I'm lonely as hell. I need someone to hold. Any offers?

Just cut, ha. Wow. The new years. All I've done is something I've fucking never wanted to do again. smoked weed. got drunk. cut. i'm off to a great 2009. fuck you 2009.